Things Change When Life Moved Forward

Though a time has past, things have change in me.

I was very very depress and upset for the past few years, than till 2007 came I was with a child.
That's the day things change, when I was with "William" Love, hope, courage, patient importantly was myself grew to understand the bonding of mother and child. I was loved like I never been love, I gave my best love to all my children in school during at that time, being more patient than usual.

Than I began feeling very sad for losing "him", I had to talk to him and apologizing him all the way to the day when I went for abortion. From that moment, I turn away everything, including friends, family, myself. But whenever I look upon the Altar, I ask HIM why!? Why do I have to do this?
I couldn't sleep after coming home from hospital, always cry over it.

One day, a friend from Australia called me when she heard about the news. Yes she was shocked, well not only her, most of my friends who I told about it. She was very supportive because after talking to me, she went to get a book, which I didn't even know that she's gonna buy it! When I got it, i felt like WOW... is so touching feeling ever since then. I finally took that book and read it, of course I cried because this book was all about people who have gone trough abortion.

I couldn't eat proper or sleep for days, weeks. I always get weird dreams, that make me look back and never want to move forward, as time goes by slowly I began to be more braver to face the world, people, as I step out forgetting the past.

Beginning of this year, I was told to work with the young toddlers. I went "WHAT!? How can you do this to me?" without anymore answer and question I just take the tasks. I began to worry about if this my child what should I do. Now this really click me that I have become a Mother, and now I'm to put my shoes into motherhood to take care of this toddlers.

As many months pass by, this toddlers really make me happy all the way up, allowing me to forget the past and remember them more. I have already love them as my own children, every morning I see them, wishing them Hello.. they would run to me and give me a big hug.